Came across Pachebel on my ipod and I realized with a shock, that it’s already been a year since one of the most horrid episodes of my life (I learned to really appreciate the song that time, it got me through that really hard and painful period)... haven’t listened to that song in a long time, and I started thinking about how much things have changed since then... and I’m glad how things have changed a lot, and its all better now. I think I’m going to be okay... mostly sorted, as is the feeling when you come to the point that you realize the formula that could give you the solution to the question you’ve been seeking for the longest time...
Like an idea, that’s always lingered at the back of your head about what you’ve always wanted, and then one day you find it unexpectedly when you thought you wanted something else, and you were looking for that something else... like it was just standing there all this time waiting, and then the moment you see it and touch it you knew, that it was what you’ve been needing and always wanted, and there wouldn’t be anything else/more you’d want, because with it you can hold the whole world in your hand..... I love my Titan =]
But no great joy can be without great pain, as in knowing that when you do get what you’ve always ever wanted, so do you now really have something to lose because you know it’ll hurt for sure.. and a lot... so you struggle, with tormenting paranoia, only to end up apathetic and indifferently taking for granted that which you valued so highly... but what we have to realize, as I’ve learned while watching the Pyrolympic fireworks at mou gGika’s balcony, is that life happens when you’re not looking. You can plan and schedule all you want, but the highlights actually happen when you’ve run out of batteries or hd space, only to save and hold in memory and in your heart the essential things.. these are the things you cannot hold or keep forever even if you wanted to.... *sigh* I love my Titan, mou kavla... ^_^
the one (I need)...
Baler, aurora on daddy’s bday…
For daddy’s bday, he took us to the place that he and mom have been going to on their road trips together. Baler, aurora was about 3 hours from our place in the province, an hour of which you’d spend offroad (and I mean really ROUGH offroad terrain) on the sierra madre mountain range. But it was all worth it, as places like these that are really hard to get to tend to be kept safe from the tourists and are left undaunted and still pretty much pristine after all this time. This place, dad said was his favourite, now more than pagudpud, for all the rainforest that still remained on the mountains and islands of aurora...
Accommodations though weren’t as great, given the amount of people that were able to go there, but the place was spectacular. The day that we went there was a low tide, and you could walk all the way far out to this little rock island about a mile away from the shore. First thing I wanted to do when we got there was of course to venture out to that rock, but dad wanted to hang out and I had a bit of a hard time trying to shake him off so that I could find my own quiet space to think. Felt kinda guilty, coz I know he just wanted to spend time with us (we barely ever see each other anymore, much more talk), so I hung around a bit and took pictures while dad found his little ‘spa’ place and drank beer. Eventually mom followed out to the rock and I was able to leave them together and find my own quiet nook at the other side of the rock to be able to have a smoke and a burn, then stare out into the horizon and watch the sea and the sky, and contemplate just how big this world really is... I still feel that this earth to be a small place/world, but I guess its because I haven’t been to much places or countries as Glika has, who’s told me that this world is actually a very big place....
The next day we went boating and island hopping, dad showed us the PAGASA weather station he and mom went hiking to, and then we checked out this island with a waterfall that fell straight to the sea, and also Angara’s beach resort. The place was totally amazing, and we were even able to see a free-flying Philippine eagle that was soaring at the edge of this cliff. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough time for me and Kai to be able to surf, but dad did drive us to the spot so we could check out the area and the waves. We’re planning to go back, and hopefully next time be able to ride the waves...
I’m glad we went there to celebrate daddy’s birthday. I realized, despite my reclusive self, that I really had a fun time with the parental units and Kai. And also that, the world could never be too big or too small a place, as long as you have the people you love. =]