.... and as this era comes to an end, we ponder on things that were, as we usually do once coming to a closing.... and i've realized that i've pondered a lot about things that were, but really not enough of things that will or could be....

... i could be and do so many things, i could be so much more... i just have to stand up and move on to the new year. we all should, just stand up and get moving, and do things, do much more. and then all our lives would get better, and the world would be better...... we just have to stand up and get out and do, and all it takes is just one step....

staring at my feet right now, trying to get over how much it hurts. just trying to take that step... i will.. i just need some time....

irreplaceable...

everything you own in a box to the left.... to the furthest back of my closet, where the sun doesnt shine. to be left for the dust to settle, and eventually be covered into forgetfulness..... i cannot erase you, and i doubt if i could forget you. but when the time comes i will move on and find the one to replace you....

so just pull the trigger...

the dragon once told me, that love is like handing someone a loaded gun.... i believe him, this i know is the truth....

it is only a matter of time before someone ends up pulling the trigger, and then somebody gets hurt... realizing all that does not really matter anymore, not the sorrys or the "i didnt mean to hurt you". nothing really matters anymore, it is too late. because all the laughter and all the life is already slowly flowing out of the empty hole that was left, while laying paralyzed on the cold hard floor. begging desperately for nothing but the pain to stop, if only to breathe, but even just to take a breath of life tormentingly hurts anyway. lying in this small dark cabin, staring at the door wondering and hoping for the time to come when to be able to stand, and walk out into the light of the sun again...

a game of chance as such it were, with the perfectly fabulous gun you chose and loaded yourself.. for someone else to shoot you with anyway..... and you just had to come back, to make sure everything was taken care of, good and done...




... i'm sorry, you are dead to me now, my glyka.. as i left you cold and lifeless on the carpet floor of your place. just had to give you one last kiss and one last hug, then closed the door behind me, turned around and walked down the corridor, down the elevator, through the lobby and concierge, to the valet parking lot, and drove out of sofitel, out of your life forever....

happy....

i love leona lewis now.... just wanna say thanks to limey and sean, for making me realize how i really was... that despite all the difficulty and all the pain, and myself just being the over-thinking, over-analyzing me.. that after all is summed up, all the memories and all the times, everything was good after all and i was, maybe more than anyone could have ever seen.... just happy......

whats missing....

was finally able to watch tv again, since i jst finished with my fs today and now have a little free time until i continue with the ts tom. plus i really dont feel like doing any more work right now (i really need a break -_- ).... anyways, jst caught this new video by one of my favorites, kjwan...



... made me think of and miss a lot of things. i miss room service, and having weekend breakfast at the balcony. even the screaming and laughing children splashing at the pool so early in the morning, when i wake up to see you still sleeping... the lights of roxas and of moa at night, and watching the boats and ships floating far out on the bay, while listening to the stories of things and of the world.... i miss my captain. i feel so sad now -_-

.... pou esee eene glyka mou... parakalo, erkhomenos peeso se me.....

when you're too busy looking the other way....

sometimes you get too caught up with some things in your life that other things end up just passing you by.... yeahhh, there's no point crying over spilt milk. if it wasnt meant to be so, what can you do? didnt even know it until it was over, jst the day after his concert. had to read it on a magazine, to find out that my biggest regret of this year was that i missed his party = ( waaaaah!! tiesto was here at emba, and from the looks of the videos it was a great party (my goodness, what was i doing with my life??). check it out....



my favorite, the best dj ever!! i adore him so much, i wanna marry him!! =} yes, waking up everyday to a man who could make such wonderful music would be kavla ^_^





yeahhh, as this song goes, love will come again.... and until then, i will be waiting, hoping that i could finally be there (again) the next time around.... =]